Psychology of Business Coaching

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Marla Albertie – Truth Speaks Coaching

Podcast Overview:

[00:02:21] Resume writing, coaching, certifications, continuous learning, author.

[00:08:05] Changed pricing and developed coaching philosophy. Constantly evolving.

[00:13:06] How to avoid discipline: aim for 3.

[00:21:02] Care about employees’ personal lives and concerns.

[00:26:58] Burnout from pressure to continuously perform well. African American women face unique challenges.

[00:28:57] C-suite role adds pressure, debunking burnout.

[00:38:39] Overwhelm: Story of Wright Brothers and Perspective

[00:42:22] Social media’s influence on younger generations.

[00:49:32] You’re allowing bullying, stop commenting and stressing.

[00:55:41] CDs, parents buying, public figure challenges, human being.

[00:59:05] Beyonce fan but prioritize self and others.

[01:06:08] “Do your research, know the why.”

Podcast Transcription:

James [00:00:00]:

You have found authentic business adventures, the business program that brings you the struggle stores, and training successes of business owners across the land. We are locally under by the Bank of Sun Prairie. My name is James Kademan, Entrepreneur, author speaker and helpful coach to small business owners across the country. And today, we’re welcoming slash preparing to learn from Marla Albertie, the founder of Truth Speaks Coaching, which I’m excited to talk about Marla today because she delves into the psychology, which is let’s just face it. It’s just how her brain works. So Marla, how are you doing today?

Marla Albertie [00:00:33]:

Oh my gosh. I am excited, super excited to be here, and and like you said, dive right in. And and it’s funny you mentioned the truth based coaching because that’s the website www.truespeaks coaching.

James [00:00:45]:

Interesting. Okay.

Marla Albertie [00:00:46]:

But the but the group, but but the title of the business is true speaks group. Because I changed it because I do so many things.

James [00:00:52]:

Oh, nice. Alright. Very cool. So let’s just start with the name. Truth speaks. I can infer what it means. But why don’t you just elaborate on that for us?

Marla Albertie [00:01:01]:

Oh my gosh. That is funny. You asked that question. I have a funny story about that. So I I had always wanted to be an entrepreneur from a little kid growing up. So but I was in a process when I was married last. I was, thinking of a speaking company for my husband and his friend. So I said, you know what? Let’s name it. You guys will be speaking about the truth. Let’s name it. Truth speaks. Speaking or 2 speaks consulting company or something like that. And then he’s like, no. I don’t like it. Then I said, well, I like it. I’m gonna take it, and I’m just gonna hold it to the side. And then fast forward, I took the name and and voila, here we are, truth speech coaching, which moved over to truth speech group. And it’s a truth because that’s what I that’s what I embody. I try to be as authentic as possible. I try to watch you see what you get. This is me. And, so that’s where it is. Truth speaks. I I’m speaking the truth. Whether you agree or not. Right? But we’re we’re here to dig deep, right, help you dig and understand and ask you the strategic questions. So so that’s where it comes from. Alright.

James [00:02:02]:

Very cool. Now how long have you had this business?

Marla Albertie [00:02:06]:

10 years old. My day.

James [00:02:07]:

Holy cow. Congratulations. A decade.

Marla Albertie [00:02:10]:

10 years old April 1st this year. So it’s it’s been a ride. It’s been a ride.

James [00:02:15]:

Very cool. So tell me when you first started this, was the idea that it was coaching, then it just expanded out?

Marla Albertie [00:02:21]:

Yes. So let me tell you. So I hadn’t I hadn’t thought about it. So let me give a little bit of context to that. So when I was getting my associate’s degree back in the day, I have my associates in, financial planning. So as a part of that, I I’ve always worked at 9 to 5. So a part of that was working for the wonderful company of JP Morgan Chase. Well, back then, if you guys remember, JPMorgan Chase had a division, a mortgage division, and that was Washington Mutual. So if you remember, the biggest seizure in United States history was the Washington Mutual seizure Davey Morgan Chase. Well, back then, I happened to have this is why leadership is so awesome. I had a great leader back then. So me finishing my associate’s degree, I had to do an internship in HR. So my leader at that time allowed me to do my internship in HR, recruiting. This is when recruiting was on-site and through Washington Mutual. So I was I learned a lot about resumes and and understanding job postings and and and tasks. And I’m like, wow. This is really good. Well, friends and family and coworkers will always came to me for advice about career. So I said, okay. Well, let me start doing these resumes. So I start doing them for free. Fast forward. Got my got my associate’s degree. Got my bachelor’s degree in supervision and management, got my master’s degree, and adult education, moved forward currently in school for my PhD. So I said, you know what? I need to start charging for these resumes because I’m doing them for free. And those folks out there who do resumes know that they are tedious. Okay? So I started doing them, and I started charging for them. So that’s how it started off. Then I started learning about this coaching thing, this buzz, And so I said, okay. I wanna get certified. Now as you and I both know, James, that coaching is not a regulated field. Meeting, you can go to bird king.com, shout out to bird king, and get a certification in in cooking burgers. Right? It’s it’s It is what it is. Right? You have some coaches out there who coach with no certification and making millions and nothing against that. But me, being the researcher that I am, I didn’t wanna solely coach folks based off of my experience. I wanted to understand the science and psychology behind coaching? What what is it? What does it do? How do we dig deep? And I’m so glad I did that with the World Coach Institute who’s also affiliated with ICF and ICF into that coaching federation is the most recognized, but they do not own the coaching regulation. No one does. But they’re the most recognized. So I I’m my, who I went through work on World Coach Institute is associated with them. And so that’s where I did. I went through and I got my certification for life coaching, executive coaching, goal coaching, career coaching. And from there, I just continue to join other programs and discontinue to learn. So I’ve written, I’ve author. I’ve I’ve done a whole bunch of stuff from there.

James [00:05:07]:

Alright. Very cool. Now tell me how that evolved into the group portion that you mentioned.

Marla Albertie [00:05:13]:

Oh, yeah. So so because I was only doing those resumes, So I’ve once I got the certification, I grew and that became coaching. So I did re I kept doing resumes. Now I don’t. I I stopped doing resumes, but the at that time, I kept doing resumes, Then I added the coaching, then companies wanted me to come in and teach their leaders. So I started doing consulting. So the group coaching came into play. So that’s where the group piece came from. Then I had to add on okay. I’m only me. It’s just me. So I had to add on a blog. I had to add on different areas. So that’s why it’s called a multimedia coaching and training company because I provide work life solution work life harmony and integration solutions for the 9 to 5 working women. So I’m at I’m having you to integrate and harmonize. We don’t believe in work life balance. It does not exist. So that’s where the group piece came from because I’m offering more than just resume, more than just coaching.

James [00:06:06]:

Got it. Very cool. So do you tell me about your workforce? Do you have other employees with you, or

Marla Albertie [00:06:12]:

is it It’s it’s just me. I do have, you know, you had family involved. Right?

James [00:06:15]:

So I

Marla Albertie [00:06:16]:

do have family members that help me volunteer from time to time, but as employee wise, it’s just me.

James [00:06:20]:

Alright. Nothing wrong with that. So tell me, your target I would say the avatar or the person that you’re after. You mentioned professional woman. So are

Marla Albertie [00:06:30]:

these The 95

James [00:06:32]:

Oh, no.

Marla Albertie [00:06:33]:

Go ahead. I’m sorry.

James [00:06:33]:

No. Are they entrepreneurs? Are they people that, work for someone else in leadership role?

Marla Albertie [00:06:39]:

Yep. So so prop mostly the latter. I’ve had some of those some of those women have had the side hustle job on the side. Right? But it’s maybe the latter that 9 to 5 working women, she’s about 33 to 55. She is maybe a lot of them live in an urban, urban, multi metro city, has 1 to 2 kids. Most of those kids are adults. And they’re in the high 5 figure, 6 fig high 5 figure, low 6 figure range. So they’re either directors above, some of them are management, some of the supervisor supervisor level C suite, positions. So it kinda goes in that range. Now Right? See, that’s the niche. Right? That’s the avatar, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t coached men. I’m coached women. Right? So but, you know, you have to have that avatar. You have to have that one group that you speak to. So I’m actually, expanding out into different areas now, but, but that that is that that avatar for me.

James [00:07:30]:

Alright. And tell me, when you first started your business a decade ago

Marla Albertie [00:07:34]:

Yeah.

James [00:07:35]:

What has changed or, of course, the 10 years that you didn’t necessarily expect.

Marla Albertie [00:07:40]:

Oh, gosh. Well, let’s start with most recent change, COVID, doing a lot because a lot of my coaching was face to face. People would have me come meet them. Right? So that completely went away. And and so I am 100% virtual. I have I don’t think I don’t know the last time I met a a client in person. I couldn’t tell you. Alright. When I started, I would. I would a lot of my clients were local, and we would meet at Panera. And we would do coaching sessions.

James [00:08:04]:

I didn’t like it, but that’s what

Marla Albertie [00:08:05]:

they want. I follow-up the client want it or in lie at the library. You know? So that definitely changed. Also, too, pricing has changed because I had educated myself. Right? I have continued to grow and develop. So the pricing, I I I went from per hour to package now. I don’t I know you’re charged per hour. I charge per package. So there’s 3 packages out there. So that’s what I I charge for that. That that definitely changed. Also, One thing I always tell with coaches is you can’t coach one person the same. What You need to have your own coaching philosophy. So I’ve had to build and develop my own, and mine is SEQ, strategic, empathetic, unscripted question and what that means is I’m strategic in what I’m doing in talking to you. You know, I’m confident in who I am, and so I’m confident in the question I’m asking you empathetic, like I said, 95% of my clients, I’ve worked walk in their shoes. I’m walking in their shoes. I’m not gonna ever claim them perfect. Unscripted is some coaches do use a script. Nothing wrong with scripts. I’ve read scripts, but I am that organic one. I like to have the conversation because at the end of the day, it’s you that we’re trying to transform. Right? And in the midst of you transforming, I get transformed too, but but it’s mainly your it’s a relationship. It’s a partnership. I’m not here to boss you around. Right? It’s a partnership. So, and that is, again, about that changing that mindset. That’s where the unscripted, and, obviously, the key was the questions. So I had to develop my philosophy, develop my develop my and I’m constantly changing constantly evolving, thinking of different because that’s what the entrepreneurs. That’s what we do. Right? So constantly trying to think of different ways to morph that.

James [00:09:45]:

Mhmm. Nice. Now you had brought up a few points to me. I wanna talk about a few of them because a couple of them just attracted my eye. Sure. A lot of them have to do with employees. Yeah. You mentioned the quiet quitting and the great resignation. So let’s jump head first into that.

Marla Albertie [00:10:05]:

Yeah. So let’s talk about the quiet queuing. So when I saw this term first come out, I’m like, oh, we have a term for it, which is something that’s been around for years. People have been quiet queuing for a long, long time. I guess we decided to give it a term, give it a name, which is fine. And what I have discovered, just in my role as in leadership roles, I’ve had bullition roles with multiple fortune 500 companies. I’ve discovered that if you don’t, as a leader, if the leader does not invest in themselves and take the time to invest in their team, their team will quit emotionally. That’s what quiet quitting is. I’m I’m my I’m just a body. I’m just a shell here. So I’m here to just work this 9 to 5 and and leave. I’m not gonna do any extra activity. I’m not gonna join your your little your your talking group. I’m not gonna join your webinar afterwards. I’m not gonna join your wine and dine coffee. Zoom chat afterwards. I’m here to do the 9 to 5, and you can’t get mad at them. But, honestly, as a leader, do you want that type of Do you want that? You want that employee that’s gonna be engaged?

James [00:11:06]:

Yeah. You know, this is the thing that when I I remember looking up the term quiet quiting. Yeah. Because I’m like, what is what is quiet quiting?

Marla Albertie [00:11:15]:

Mhmm.

James [00:11:15]:

And the the broad definition that I more or less came up with on the internet Mhmm. Which I don’t know if this is universal or not. Mhmm. But essentially people do their job and they go home. Don’t worry about the job. Yeah. And the part that attracted me was like, oh, they do their job.

Marla Albertie [00:11:33]:

Mhmm.

James [00:11:33]:

That’s all I care about. Yeah. Because all I was thinking, I’ve had employees that didn’t do their job, and you could argue that they were quiet quitting, but it was more like I was quiet firing them. Right. Just helping them quit. They’re the ones that just do your job and go home. I’m like, that sounds like a perfect employee.

Marla Albertie [00:11:51]:

Right. And

James [00:11:52]:

So my first thought was quite quitting didn’t sound necessarily like a bad thing because they’re doing a job.

Marla Albertie [00:11:57]:

I think the negative connotation is behind that is Yeah. You you want the employee to come to do their job, but you want them mentally engaged. And that is the quiet quitting piece. You want them to do their job, and they could be great at what they’re doing, but you don’t want them to be a shell or robot. That’s the right way. Right. Exactly. What I

James [00:12:16]:

what I’ve learned I guess is from the quiet quitting portion or what I believe to be true Mhmm. Is that they didn’t have drive to advance or to improve Nope. Or to go above and beyond in any way, shape.

Marla Albertie [00:12:28]:

In any in anything, nothing.

James [00:12:30]:

So if someone says, hey. I gotta take my kid to the doctor. Can you cover the shift? No. Nope. They’re not gonna that’s where I’m like, oh, well, I don’t consider that necessarily doing your job. Again, if you can’t do it because you got other stuff going on, But if you just wanna stay in your little bubble and you wanna treat the job like a number, and then you’re gonna get upset at the boss treating you like a number, Mhmm. Yep. You can’t have it both ways.

Marla Albertie [00:12:54]:

And that’s it. And and quiet cleaning really has a lot to do with teamwork. You you’re just basically you’re not You’re a part of the team, but you’re not mentally a part of the

James [00:13:02]:

team. Mhmm.

Marla Albertie [00:13:02]:

And that’s what quiet queuing is. You’re just gonna do what you have to do to get a paycheck.

James [00:13:06]:

They do

Marla Albertie [00:13:06]:

what you have to do to not get written up You’re gonna do a check to do it on that annual or quarterly or monthly check-in, that’s a lot of people have the scores. Right? So that score of 1 to 5 You’re not gonna ever shoot for the 5. You’re gonna just gonna get the 3. I’m gonna all see a 3, and that’s okay with me. And and, again, we have to Again, I go back to the leadership, you know, what are the leaders doing to install for their teams to not be a 3? To install their teams to not be a 4 because what they do reflects on the leader. Right? Everything rises and falls on leadership. So if you have a team that’s quiet, quitting, I’m gonna look at you later. What are you doing?

James [00:13:45]:

You know? No. I I understand. I mean,

Marla Albertie [00:13:46]:

they were

James [00:13:52]:

I always joke when I have been employee or something like that. I’m like, who’s the jerk that hired this person? And it’s it’s me is what it comes down to. So, I mean, for whatever reason, in the end, it’s always the person on top. The book stops there.

Marla Albertie [00:14:07]:

Yep. Always. Always And we’re not trying to put the whole responsibility on a lead because the employees are adults. They’re big they’re big people.

James [00:14:14]:

I’d like to think so.

Marla Albertie [00:14:15]:

Are you treating them that way? You know, they’re only and if you do the research, statistics are out, they’re stunned. Tons and tons and tons of studies have been done. Employees are gonna mock and model what they see. Point blank. The I mean, they’re they’re like they’re like little like, if you watch an aunt, build build, their aunt bed, what they’re in their in a row, this military style, that’s what they’re gonna do.

James [00:14:37]:

They’re

Marla Albertie [00:14:37]:

gonna do what they’re gonna do. They’re a model what they’re given. Point it’s it’s not rocket science, and that’s the book title I’m working on. You know? So it’s not rocket science. You have to actually you, the leader, have to actually care about the team in order for your team to actually care about what they’re doing. You can hire the passionate person all day long, hire them all day long, but if you just throw them out there and and don’t stop to say, good morning. The simplest. That person’s gonna quiet quit a lot sooner than you think.

James [00:15:06]:

Alright. So tell me. Let’s go dive into that little deep thing. Because the care thing, you mentioned the word empathy. I personally am not an empathetic person. I just a can’t. It’s very challenging. Yeah. Even with my wife, it’s just one of those things that I have very, very, very hard time

Marla Albertie [00:15:24]:

Yeah.

James [00:15:25]:

Even pretending to care about stuff. Because that as you’re going, you’re going Mach 12, right, with your business, family, kids, stuff, and things. Everybody’s trying to throw their baggage and problems at you. And I feel like you’re playing whack a mole all day. And then someone’s like, how come you didn’t show interest or care into this thing? Yeah. And I told one of my employees that was having she was calling in a lot. And she’s like, how come you don’t ask more detail about why I’m calling out? And I said, you are 1 month. I have to feed 12 other mouths. Yeah. So your one mouth to me, it doesn’t matter why you’re not here. I have to make sure that the other get fed.

Marla Albertie [00:16:11]:

Yeah. Right?

James [00:16:11]:

It doesn’t matter if you’re leaving because you’re climbing Mount Everest, having a kid, or because you got hit by a bus. Yeah. I’d love to be able to have the time to care, but I don’t because I gotta keep the truck flowing or the the water flowing. I should say it’s moving.

Marla Albertie [00:16:25]:

Yeah.

James [00:16:25]:

So that I have a job for these other people that I promised that they’d have a job.

Marla Albertie [00:16:29]:

Yeah. So it’s not that

James [00:16:31]:

I don’t care about the 1. It’s that I care more about the rest that show up. Than I do about the 1.

Marla Albertie [00:16:36]:

Right. Oh my gosh. So I can I can dig into that so deep?

James [00:16:40]:

So Alright. Plea, let’s go. I know

Marla Albertie [00:16:42]:

we’re not gonna be on here for 15 hours. So so let’s talk about that, James. So I I totally get it because me, I I use myself as a prime example, leader. You know, let’s say I have six, seven people on my team. Each one of those people, you’re gonna have to manage them differently.

James [00:16:58]:

So

Marla Albertie [00:16:59]:

that one person you’re talking to, you can’t manage her, him, they, the same way you do the other 11. So that one, you may have to give them a little bit more special attention because that you’ll be surprised that little bit more special attention, that one question you ask her you know, what’s going on. That could change her mood for the whole entire day, and she could be the most productive person on the planet. It’s b just because you showed 2% that you care. Right? That’s all that’s that she wants. Now Susie on your team may not care about all that. Susie just wants to come in, do the work, Ask me at check-in every now and then, that’s fine. But but but Sally, who you just spoke with, Sally needs a little bit little bit more. You’re gonna always, always, always on your team. This is every leader. I don’t care who you are, leaders. You’re gonna always have folks in your team who need that extra care, the extra rubbing rubbing on the back. I I don’t care where you go. You’re gonna always have those. You’re gonna always have those ones. You’re gonna have to fight with a little bit, you know, that that that, you know, just don’t the Nash a lot ones, You’re gonna have the ones that, who know it all, who know more than you.

James [00:18:02]:

Yeah. Just ask them. Right?

Marla Albertie [00:18:04]:

You’re gonna have those. So you’re gonna oh, so you but guess what you have to do? You have to now get to now coach to each one of those personalities because that’s the part of being a leader. So so it is your responsibility to not baby her. No. I’m not saying that. But you do need to ask her the question. You do need to be surprised as to what that small thing and I’m not saying continue to ask her, but you do need to know why she’s missing. Now HR standard, you can’t get into detail. You can’t

James [00:18:30]:

Right.

Marla Albertie [00:18:30]:

You know, but if she’s asked she she’s like, well, you need to throw the question and play coach on her, and say Sally, okay. You know, I’m glad you asked me that question. What what has been going on? Talk to me. The men do show her a little bit of care. She’s gonna be like, oh, wow. My manager cares about me. Alright. She thinks

James [00:18:47]:

about it. I totally understand that, and I agree with you. The challenge is deep down inside. I don’t care. So I have a very hard time faking the care.

Marla Albertie [00:19:00]:

Right. Oh my gosh. Someone’s gonna tell

James [00:19:02]:

you, like, I had one woman. Her cat was sick, and she wanted me to ask about a cat. I don’t care about cat. I really don’t. Cat has nothing to do with my business. Has nothing to do with my employees. I just don’t care, and I had such a hard time. Like, tell me about your cat. Right. So difficult. Yeah. So I and I have a heart. There’s a inauthenticity, I think, to a point, I have a hard time getting over. Like, I have to pretend that I care about this stupid cat. Such and I’m just

Marla Albertie [00:19:33]:

this tickles me.

James [00:19:35]:

Yeah. It’s just one of those things where I’m like, how do they not see through this me not caring? Because I don’t I don’t believe anyone would really care about your cat, but maybe

Marla Albertie [00:19:45]:

Right.

James [00:19:45]:

Right. Somebody does.

Marla Albertie [00:19:47]:

Yeah. We don’t care about the cat. But at the same, here’s the thing. I I thrive off of being a authentic in who I am.

James [00:19:53]:

Alright.

Marla Albertie [00:19:53]:

Right. And because you’re right, I don’t I I love I love pets. I don’t have a pet, but I I thrive off of watching the pits on TikTok and I I love them. Right? But at the end of the day, we have a job to get done. So I totally get that. So it’s not about being fake, James. I I I maybe we need to rephrase that re rephrase our mind because you’re you’re you’re right. Deep down inside? I don’t I don’t care about my employees, pets. I mean, deep down inside, but I do care about the employee.

James [00:20:21]:

Mhmm.

Marla Albertie [00:20:22]:

And I care about what they care about because what they care about affects their production.

James [00:20:27]:

Fair. Totally fair.

Marla Albertie [00:20:29]:

So if they if I don’t have some type of care. And guess what? That takes practice. That takes what that is is emotional intelligence. Right? The first first component of emotional intelligence and self awareness. So you are very self aware, James. So what we now need to do is work on that social side of it. And we’re gonna the relationship side of, of the 4 facets, right, and say, okay. You know what? I want them to perform. I want them to do a job. So you know what? It won’t hurt me to ask about this cat.

James [00:20:59]:

Right.

Marla Albertie [00:21:00]:

Well, true.

James [00:21:01]:

I don’t I’m not saying I gotta have a I’m

Marla Albertie [00:21:02]:

not saying for you to go to Walmart and get a cat car, shout out to Walmart. Right? But but you do need to care. This is smidgen, you know, to say, you know what? Because that one, you’ll be so surprised. I’m telling some companies have this figured out. It’s not rocket set. Some companies don’t, but a lot of companies have this figured out with some do. You know what? If I just show that little bit of concern because people want especially especially the gen z’s and the Millennials. Mhmm. Especially you have to understand these generations. And let me tell you something. If you don’t care about their plant that they need to water at 3 o’clock, They’ll just quit and go to the company that that does care about their plan. They order at 3 o’clock. Oh, yeah. And they’re the smartest and they’re the smartest one on the team, and you want that expertise on your team. Oh, trust me. You want it. But you don’t you know what? I gotta go walk fluffy. Fluffy has a has used a bathroom at 2 PM, and you won’t allow them to go take the break at 2:15 at 2 o’clock or 2 whatever, they’re just gonna leave because they don’t care. Cause all they wanna know is that you care about their pet, they care about your plant, So that is a generate these are the peak folks that’s gonna be running the country. So we have to adjust our mindsets to what’s going on currently. Right now. And, unfortunately, that cat Right. For example, that cat is what is going on right So we’re I’m not saying I’d ask out the cat every day, but I do challenge you, James, to to to to say, you know what? This person and I don’t know how great this person is as a of a worker, whatever, but trust me, this is why I coached the whole person. Trust me. This is why I don’t say work life balance. You have that person has to harmonize. So the same Susie that came to work that has a hurt feelings about her cap is the same suit that’s gonna be your production person. They’re not 2 separate people.

James [00:22:56]:

Yeah. You know, you raised an interesting point. Because the people, very broadly speaking, that I’ve had, the callouts, and, why don’t you ask about my cat and all this kind of stuff? I would not consider them the rock star employees. Yeah. So it’s one of those. That’s why I go back to the quiet firing. It’s like, I don’t even wanna take the time to care because if you went away, I can find another mediocre employee. No problem. I can’t find a great employee easily. I can find mediocre all day long.

Marla Albertie [00:23:24]:

Right. All day long. Right.

James [00:23:26]:

You put out an ad on Indeed. I can have 300 applicants in less than 3 days.

Marla Albertie [00:23:30]:

Of course.

James [00:23:30]:

And a great majority of them are gonna be just as bad as you.

Marla Albertie [00:23:36]:

And here’s the thing. Do you want mediocre? What do you want?

James [00:23:39]:

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. Do not want more mediocre, but in this but you’re at an interesting point. Right? Could I be treating or saying things to this employee to give them the nuts to actually be productive, valuable, employee that I wanna keep. Yeah. Maybe? Probably. Yeah. And I’m not saying for you to,

Marla Albertie [00:23:56]:

you know, force them to do their job. Right, because they got hired for a reason. They’re adults treat them as such. But what are you? Cause I can only talk to you, right, what are you as the leader imparting in them. You know, you can only take the person to the water, the horse to the wer. It’s up to them to drink it. So if you’re imparting, if you can as they say you’re doing 100% of your imparting in this employee and if they still don’t deliver, then then you can coach them out. Right? But you have to be 100% honest with yourself and say as a leader, am I? Am I doing what I have to do? Am I doing and and then and then ask their opinion. I will ask my team all the time. What what what’s missing, guys? What what what what what do you need me to do? What what do you need in Deborah?

James [00:24:39]:

Oh, that’s a great question.

Marla Albertie [00:24:40]:

Yeah. Yeah. What what do you need me to do? What what? Cause I have to because how you perform is a is a reflection of me, and trust me, Marlon, it’s look good. Okay? So so what what do I need to do? And they’re like, Marla, you know, you’re you’re doing great. I don’t need it. I so if they say that, I still I still push them. I say, well, What could do I need to write the email better? Do I need to I need to all I’m always constantly because we’re inside the we’re James, we’re inside the picture. We don’t see the frame. Other people see the frame. So I had to ask my clients, which are which is my team and and peers who work with me and colleagues who work with me, Marlow, what what, you know, so when I’ll give you one of my falls, one of my movie falls. I talk fast. I’m hyper and I talk fast.

James [00:25:22]:

Oh, I’m right there. It’s awesome. We get stuff done.

Marla Albertie [00:25:26]:

Right. I’m hyper and I talk fast. So I have to I have to constantly be self aware of slowing down you know, I talk with my hands. Some people get offended by

James [00:25:36]:

that. Mhmm.

Marla Albertie [00:25:36]:

You know, so I have to think that thing not saying not being who I am, but to constantly think about that. You know, okay. If this helps that person, some people have told me I’m too much for them. Well, that’s their problem, not mine. But I respect that. I respect that. And I respect what they’re saying. So can I adjust for that moment? Sure.

James [00:25:54]:

I’m Who wants a coach? That’s too little. Right.

Marla Albertie [00:25:58]:

I mean, I can adjust for that moment. You know, it’s fine. I’m not gonna lose any sleep at night. You know, but but again, it’s about it’s about knowing how to have the in the intelligence to work the crowd. And that crowd also includes your people above you and your people beneath you

James [00:26:11]:

Mhmm.

Marla Albertie [00:26:12]:

As well as yourself. So I challenge you, James, to ask yourself Am I doing the 100% of things I need to do to make sure this employee is successful? If you would always say yes, the news that the the news employee They’re just lazy.

James [00:26:25]:

I don’t know that I could ever say yes to that because that’s it. So it is that there’s always

Marla Albertie [00:26:30]:

room for improvement.

James [00:26:31]:

Right now, I have a lot of room. Yeah. Fun of them. More than I should.

Marla Albertie [00:26:36]:

Give yourself grace and say maybe 95%. No. Nobody’s ever perfect. We never should have perfection. Reflection is, a a oblivious.

James [00:26:44]:

Fair. Totally fair. Let’s talk about well-being and avoiding burnout. Because that’s a that’s a thing or can be a thing for anyone. And a lot of it, I believe, is a mindset versus a workload.

Marla Albertie [00:26:58]:

It is. It is. So research studies, you go out there and read it, burnout, comes from the pressure of having to continuously do something because you have a obligation. Right? So like you just said, that comes from all fields. It’s very heavy in in health care. It’s, very heavy in service type roles, right, where you gotta meet goals, like sales, retail, fast food, restaurants, stuff like that, where you gotta meet goals. But at no point, I I don’t care what industry you’re in. At no point, should a job turn into, I gotta have thick skin to get through this. I gotta I gotta I gotta do this. I or if I I don’t, you know, there should there should not be a threatening component. And that’s where the burnout piece comes from. Because if I think that I have to over perform and do this and do that, just to get recognized, to get seen. And this is a huge, huge problem in the African American woman, re raining, female rain rains. There is a, philosophy out there, called the Superwoman schema written by an African American kademan. And African American women, we are the, highest educated group of individuals, but yet we’re 4th on the totem pole. And what I mean by 4th is you have the Caucasian male, you have the black male, you have the white female, then you have African Americans and everybody else, Asians, everybody else. Right? So with us being at the bottom, yet we’re the most intelligent or the most smartest, we have to constantly come to work and not only prove who we are, but prove how smart we are, We gotta force ourselves to do this. We gotta we gotta create not only ask for the seat at the table, create the table sometimes, get people to talk to us at the table, recognizes at the table, that leaves to burnout. That’s just one example. Then when you’re a physician or and you’re in a higher role, right,

James [00:28:56]:

our c

Marla Albertie [00:28:57]:

a c suite role, that adds even more pressure to us. I’m not only focusing on the African Americans. I’m just kinda giving giving an example of it. Right? So that’s where that burnout comes from. So how do we debunk burnout? I know it sounds simple. You gotta think about you. Mhmm. To think. And and there’s a lot in that. We could be on the call for next 10 hours about that, but you gotta think about you. We all get burnt out. Everybody. I don’t I don’t care who you are. Everybody has gotten burnt out or will get burnt out. But it can burnout can be sustained, and it can be it can it can it can it cannot exist. You have to ask yourself the the famous sinus sinic, sinus sinic. Why? Why am I doing what I’m doing? This this this this my manager asked me to work, you’re you’re you’re scheduled 4 hours a week. Your manager asked you to work 10 hours over time. Okay? You already had 5 appointments scheduled for your son’s baseball game or whatever. What are you are who are you who are you who are you gonna satisfy? Are you satisfying the the boss? Are you satisfying the child? Can you integrate both? Can you work out something with both? Have you tried? A lot of times, the burnout comes because you because you didn’t even try. You said, oh, I gotta you tell the son no, so I gotta go do these 10 extra hours. Did you even ask could you, hey. I already got this scheduled boss manager person. Can I, you know, do 30 minutes and then maybe leave have you have you started to speak up for yourself? That’s where a lot of the burnout comes from. You’re not talking for yourself and speaking up for yourself. You’re obligating yourself because you wanna look wanna climb a corporate ladder, and everyone has different reasons. Not saying everyone does this, but you but there’s a reason why. So that no. That reason why is you wanna climb a corporate ladder, You have bills to pay. Everyone has bills to pay. There’s there’s gotta be a motive behind why you think you have to be the superhero. You have to be the person that that does X Y Z and shines, you know, is a part of your personality? Have you done the self reflection? So I’ll burn out There’s a lot involved in that. There’s a lot involved in that, but I can’t we, as a society, cannot 100% blame burnout on leaders.

James [00:31:09]:

No. The person has an individual.

Marla Albertie [00:31:11]:

Right. The person has a huge part to play in that.

James [00:31:14]:

And when I would say they hit

Marla Albertie [00:31:15]:

start to feel yeah. When I start to feel that burnout, I sat back and I said, okay, Marla. Why? Is this and and and and we’ve all heard these, James? What are common questions we can ask ourselves? Is this gonna matter 5 years from now?

James [00:31:28]:

Mhmm. Or

Marla Albertie [00:31:28]:

is it doesn’t matter? Let me tell you how you can get irritated. You can get irritated scrolling on Facebook and comedy. Commenting on people behind a glass behind a glass screen, you’ll never meet, but you’ll piss yourself off. Over over stupid crap. That that leads to burnout. Cause now you’re now you’re involved in the in the in the rat races, which is what social media wants you to do. Shimi, it’s it’s a mind game. They’re gonna run your mind. So you you gotta you gotta do the self reflection. That’s what I really focus on a lot in my coaching. Is you gotta do self reflection. You are 100 a 100% responsible for you. No one else is. So if you’re getting burnt out, You can’t blame your boss for making you work. No one makes you do anything.

James [00:32:11]:

Right.

Marla Albertie [00:32:12]:

And I get it. We all got bills. I got bills. I got bills, but no one’s going to make me do anything. No job is going to work the hell out of me, work the bone to me. Were we down to the bone? And I see nothing for it. So I’ll tell you this quick story. Yeah. One of my colleagues told me he saw, this nurse on Instagram. She did a sear uh-uh, a survey, and she surveyed, or she just asked 100 of her patients. And they were all, like, 80 and above. And then and then she asked them, you know, what was the one thing you regret? You know, the one one thing that was that said? It wasn’t I wanted to spend more time with family. That was number 2. The number one thing was I wish I didn’t work so hard. I didn’t work so much. Because number 2, I didn’t get to see my family. And now my son I just I just got a relationship now with my son. You know? So nowadays, this is why you see this the term. I’m not sure if you heard of this term, the this this term called the soft life. That’s a new term out there.

James [00:33:07]:

That’s why I’ve not heard of that. Yeah.

Marla Albertie [00:33:08]:

The soft life is now just, you know, what I need to remove? What what’s his what’s his central? A Greg McEwen, the book essentialism, excellent, Excellent. Great, folks. Essential to me right now. Does it all matter? Do I really need the 6 do I really need these 6 figures? Can can I why do you think people’s running to tiny homes? Cause they don’t need the mansion. They want they just want peace, and COVID has really accelerated that. So you really gotta ask yourself, what do you wanna do? I just was talking to my cousin a little earlier today. Hey. I just wanted my run my businesses and travel. I’m a cruiser. I’ve been on 19 cruises. I got 20 through 25 booked. This let me cruise and travel and and run my businesses remotely. I have talked to people who have run their businesses, who run businesses from RVs, Rumises from hotels. They hop from hotel to hotel. Commedians. I’ve actually talked to a couple of comedians on these cruise ships, and I I I’m going to them and I ask them. What are you doing? How how do you do this? How do you like it? Cause I like to know, I’m a I’m a I O psychologist. We like to understand behavior in the workplace. You know? So I I’m I’m not afraid to go ask these questions. I talked on this last cruise I was on. I talked to this one guy. He he oh, I just jumped from cruise ship to cruise ship. He said he goes home every now and then. He goes home to South Carolina every now and then. But he’s retired military. He gets military pay. And and then don’t get me wrong. Everybody does not fall into his bucket, but you gotta find your bucket. Yeah. Basically, what he was trying to tell me is I can you can do what I’m doing. And so I’m I’m gonna get there. I’m gonna be cruising every month. I’m gonna be traveling somewhere every month with my laptop while I’m while I’m while I’m doing podcasts and stuff. You’re gonna you’re gonna see the Lido deck.

James [00:34:37]:

There you go.

Marla Albertie [00:34:39]:

Right. So what you’re what what I mean, if you get getting these travel groups, people are traveling all over the world. They’re they’re cashing out their 401 kademan they’re traveling. You know, you have to do what is best for your mental health because if you allow a job to kill you, they will. And I

James [00:34:59]:

guess the presumption there is that burn on is coming from a job. It could be coming from what

Marla Albertie [00:35:04]:

you have going on at home? Or what? The the spouse You need to get divorced. I’m a fan of divorce. Go do it if you need to. I’ve been there twice. You know? Right? If if if if the spouse or the partner is is driving you nuts. What are you doing? What are you been doing here? I’m not I’m not here to be an vice mayor’s counselor. I’m not. You know? But but What is causing you stress? Go back to your why. What’s going on? You really have to do the self reflection. This one I’m a huge fan of journaling. You’ll see 30 gazillion journals around here, around me. You know, I’m I journal my thoughts. I get this down. You know? So I’m not saying again, I’ll say that again. I’m not saying go divorce, but but this is why why do you think so many people divorced after COVID? Because they real they didn’t know it. They didn’t know their spouse.

James [00:35:46]:

Did it go up? I guess I I hadn’t heard that. I didn’t definitely. But Oh, yeah.

Marla Albertie [00:35:51]:

Yeah. Relation not necessarily partnerships, relationships, yeah, went went down the drain because they had to spend time with each other in house.

James [00:35:58]:

Oh, funny. Yeah. Normally, I see you for an hour at night. Now I’m seeing you for 12 hours during the day. Drolling the price. Can’t stand you.

Marla Albertie [00:36:05]:

Yeah. We got there. Just Google the statistic. Interesting. People went crazy because they’re not taking the time to get to know each other, which is something she should be doing anyway. Right? So but, however, everyone again, everyone’s different. Vice different. Right? But, I say all that to say is what what is the it? So one of my mantras is keep it moving. That’s my motivational phrase.

James [00:36:24]:

That’s my phrase. I love it.

Marla Albertie [00:36:26]:

Yes. I have a t shirt.

James [00:36:27]:

I have a t shirt. Plate. Yeah. Yeah.

Marla Albertie [00:36:29]:

Yes. I have a t shirt on my website. Right? So keep it moving. And whatever that it is, What is the it? Everybody, we all have the it. We all got the it, James. We may have 15 its. But what is the it? And what are you gonna do about the it? Whether it’s your relationship, whether it’s your kids, am I saying get get rid of your kids? I’m not saying that at all. You know, but what is it? A lot of the times it’s the job. A lot of the times it is, parents, I’m the caretaker for my dad. You know, I still have to work life integrate that. I have to work life integrate school. The work life integrate my own my own son and my daughter-in-law and my family. It’s a work life. We all I don’t have I have the same issues anybody else does.

James [00:37:05]:

Right?

Marla Albertie [00:37:05]:

So or same problems or same concerns anybody else does. Oh, Marla, so easy for you to say that. I’m a human being as well. It’s just like you are, but I have to know that the word no is a complete sentence. And I it’s not my fault if you get upset, then I said no because I’m looking out for my well-being.

James [00:37:25]:

Yeah. There’s opportunity cost. If you would say yes, likewise, if you said, no. Yeah.

Marla Albertie [00:37:29]:

What is that? Yeah.

James [00:37:30]:

Let’s look at each situation. There’s a line with your goals. What you’re aiming for? High up.

Marla Albertie [00:37:34]:

Sure. Exactly. Exactly. So that that to me, that is how we combat.

James [00:37:39]:

Burnow

Marla Albertie [00:37:40]:

is starting with us and asking ourselves the why. And so many people have read so many blogs and research stuff on this over the COVID. People are like, you know what? This job really doesn’t give us cook about me. I’m tired. You know what? I’m gonna go Uber for the rest of my life. Oh, super. I’ve read so many articles about this. It’s crazy. So many articles. This one lady I read, she after Uber, she used, like, 56. She’s like, you know what? I’m I’m I’m gonna cash out my 401 k and travel around the world for a year. Then I’ll figure out what I wanna do She’s like, I finally do it now. I never do it.

James [00:38:14]:

Right. Yeah. You can get hit by a bus at any time. So Yep.

Marla Albertie [00:38:18]:

And I’m like, I I’ve read I’m I I’ve was almost reading, like, a story like this a day, honestly, on just different different news outlets, media outlets. It’s it’s it’s people are Like I said, COVID fast forwarded that. So people are realizing, you know, burnout is and look at the amount of books that have go go to burnout, go to Amazon, see how many books don’t burnout. Right.

James [00:38:39]:

Tell me a story, though. Let’s delve into this a little bit deeper because I have had acquaintances, friends, definitely employees Mhmm. That felt they used the word overwhelm to a point that I’m just like, what? Because I’ll I’ll give you a little bit of background just really quick. Yeah. I was in where was I? I was in, Ohio. Uh-huh. Where they have the, I don’t even remember what town. Oh my gosh. Dayton. Dayton, Ohio. Hey, Dayton. Okay. Right Brothers had their bike shop there. Okay. So my dad used to live in South Carolina pretty close to the, where the first flight happened. Mhmm. And so and, flight is just amazing to me because travel as well, and I like to learn what am I on? How do we get here from there? Mhmm. I’m like, these guys had a bike shop. And in the early, early, early 1900, thought it would be a great idea to come up with this invention that everybody thought they were crazy if they traveled from Ohio, to South care or North Carolina. I’m sorry. Yeah. Early 1900 when cars weren’t really a thing. Yeah. They’re transporting this airplane, all the the stars that had to align for them to do that. Mhmm. And I think right now, I can travel from Ohio to North Carolina. I’m with, I mean, I can get my plane ticket on the Internet in minutes Exactly. On the airport, and I can make it happen. But later today, I can be in North Carolina Yeah. This guy really wanted an airplane, I could probably pay someone the enough money, and I’d have an airplane there too. Yeah. And it’s interesting because I’m, like, we are standing on the shoulders of giants. We are. And to say that we’re feeling overwhelmed, I’m just trying to think if I would call up Orville, right, and say, hey, Orville. I’m feeling a little burned out here. And he’ll be like, tell me what you got going on. And I would tell him, and he’s like, What? You have no problems. Yeah. You think you have problems, but you really you don’t have problems.

Marla Albertie [00:40:40]:

Yeah.

James [00:40:41]:

So but it’s all a perspective issue Yeah. Or a mindset because we believe or we’re told or we read the news. It’s like, everybody get depressed. Everybody take your pill to fix your depression and then keep staying depressed because we want you to feed the beast, buy the craps, let you feel better for a moment, whatever.

Marla Albertie [00:40:58]:

Yeah. Yeah.

James [00:41:00]:

And I feel like, do they really? Yeah. Friends, employees, whatever. Do they really have problems, or is it just lack of awareness of how good they have it?

Marla Albertie [00:41:09]:

You know, oh my god. You know, this is that is so good, James. We could I I know we can’t be on this thing for 10 hours. That that is so good. And that’s so deep, and I’ve actually done research on the couple through my dissertation stuff. And here’s the thing about that. So, honestly, what the Wright Brothers had back then, we don’t have now. That’s obvious. Right? So you’re right. So we we ask those giants that we stand on. Hey. This is what I went through. I’m overwhelmed. They will look at they will, I, one hundred percent agree with you. They will look as, like, for fools. I think about I I watched the documentary on madam CJ Walker and how she rose through to the top with her hair product, the first black female billionaire. You know? So so I 100% agree with that. But when we look at the times today, which is the issue, right, It’s our perspective. What you just said is our perspective time today. I example, I use I I I I got my entrepreneurial tactics and methodologies when I was six years old. I used to, color my pictures and sell them on the side of the street. Oh, nice. Strangers driving by.

James [00:42:15]:

Can I

Marla Albertie [00:42:15]:

can I sit your own do that right now?

James [00:42:19]:

Be a little weird or it depends on the neighborhood.

Marla Albertie [00:42:22]:

Exactly. No. A a six year old cannot do that. Yeah. Without a predator, without the mom or dad thinking a predator’s gonna come up to them because society has changed. So as we go through history, we’ve been programmed. So that’s that’s what history is is is programming. That’s when the and when the great bubble came of the internet, That’s when everything changed. Oh, I can get the internet to do it. And, oh, social media. I just mentioned it earlier. Social media is meant to be psychological. That’s all they’re doing. Facebook, Google, Facebook companies are mega $1,000,000,000 companies. Mhmm. Right? But their their one goal I’m not trying to be negative here, but their one goal was to get you to do what they want. It’s an algorithm. Mhmm. Rhythm. So some people get that, but gen z and millennials don’t get that most of the time. So the so the so so now they’re overwhelmed. They’re overwhelmed because the TikTok video, oh my god. Let me let me say this. The TikTok video that they watched sent them down the spiral. I’m like, oh my gosh. Now I got I I I gotta get therapy. Nothing against that. I’m a big fan of therapist, but Again, what you put into your eyes and ears matters. So I’m a use this as a prime example. I was doing a event. And this one young lady, she’s a teenager. Teenager. I work with teenagers that might not profit. Sweet sweet young girl. She had used restrooms. We were both in restroom. She used a restroom, flushed a toilet. She’s, like, fifteen, sixteen years old. The the toilet went flushed. Do you not upset she was? She was so upset. The 12 women fleshed, she thought it was her fault.

James [00:43:59]:

Oh, wow.

Marla Albertie [00:44:00]:

She thought it was her fault. I said I said I said, I’m just gonna say Susie. Susie? It’s a toilet. Toilets are man made just like everything else is.

James [00:44:09]:

There’s a mechanical thing there.

Marla Albertie [00:44:10]:

And sometimes they break. And it’s okay. Just because you use the restroom, something that humans do. Because if you don’t, if you don’t, I’m a be concerned.

James [00:44:19]:

Right here. Right? We got a

Marla Albertie [00:44:20]:

problem then. So I had to literally calm her down. And first thing I thought about because of me, psychology, first thing I thought about what’s going on. Something’s going on. Is it at home? Is it at school? Who told her she’s she something’s wrong with her all the time. Is it social media? Don’t know. I didn’t I didn’t dig. I wasn’t I wasn’t trying to be her psychologist that day. All I could do is just walk on her shoes and empathize with her at at that moment and tell her everything. It wasn’t her fault. But I thought back in my mind, what is what is she watching or what is she listening to that’s telling her everything she’s doing in life is wrong? So so I go back to say that back then? Overall, the the the white brothers didn’t have that. All they had was

James [00:44:59]:

They’re probably not a ton of indoor plumbing in 19 4.

Marla Albertie [00:45:02]:

It’s Exactly. We have, right now, these kids and adults, we have access to everything. Mhmm. Everything. These kids, they they don’t know what going outside and playing is. I’ve going outside and playing. So what what what’s the way to play? What what? I can I can I have not to this day say the princess on Super Mario Brother? That’s because all I had. We had Super Mario brothers and Duck Hut. That’s all.

James [00:45:24]:

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Right? Right.

Marla Albertie [00:45:27]:

And and and and it was

James [00:45:28]:

I had a blast.

Marla Albertie [00:45:30]:

But these kids don’t know what that is. So we have to fashion. That’s where their mindsets are, but the fashion to and and and and mow our ourselves to what’s going on in their world. And that’s where the overwhelm comes from because they do have so much. They have social media. They have they still got the school. They still got the jobs. They still have all this stuff that they have to meld their minds to. So that that’s where the overwhelm is coming from. But who controls the overwhelm? Individuals do. You do. Your mindset. Mhmm. And that is the hardest part. Is getting people to go back to, I just said self awareness. Who who controls you scrolling on TikTok and Facebook? Who controls you doing? Who controls all the individual? These dumb challenges. I was watching oh my gosh. I was watching, one of these little court shows or something, a couple of days ago. And and somebody this grown man was doing a challenge where you you put sugar on a spoon and you, swallow the sugar. There’s some type of challenge. I don’t know. I’m like, And he said he almost choked and died, and no one was helping him. I thought to myself, he’s in this world.

James [00:46:42]:

I love how the responsibility moves from him to, like, hey. How come nobody’s in

Marla Albertie [00:46:46]:

front of me? I I I and he said to me, it’s like, maybe he had me, like, his forties and fifties, and he was on court on on the court suing somebody. And I’m a I’m I thought to myself, there, we have we have we’ve come a long ways. We have a long ways to go because again, me, the psychology behind me, I’m thinking, what in this man’s life is missing to where he had to go on TikTok and challenged himself in front of a whole bunch of kids to show off in front of some kids to swallow.

James [00:47:11]:

The kids weren’t even doing it. They

Marla Albertie [00:47:12]:

need they

James [00:47:12]:

need real problems are missing in his life. Yeah.

Marla Albertie [00:47:16]:

What He

James [00:47:16]:

needed to find something create a problem of some kind.

Marla Albertie [00:47:19]:

Something something had to do.

James [00:47:20]:

What it took.

Marla Albertie [00:47:21]:

There was something void, something going on. To where he thought he could just swallow up a spoonful of sugar and be okay.

James [00:47:26]:

Mhmm. Or that guy had just been diagnosed with cancer the day before, Yeah. Would he be on TikTok eating a spoon full of sugar?

Marla Albertie [00:47:34]:

Right.

James [00:47:35]:

He had lost his job, lost his spouse. Right. He’d got a boo boo on their knee. Right. Like, he had to come up with a he had to create a problem.

Marla Albertie [00:47:42]:

Right.

James [00:47:43]:

Unconsciously or consciously.

Marla Albertie [00:47:44]:

Right. Exactly. And I thought to myself, like, okay. There’s a void. There’s something going on. And there’s something there’s always this is that as a leaders leaders have to recognize this, there’s always something else beneath the surface. If your employees are acting a certain way, like, the cat situation, there’s something else going on. It’s always another issue. There’s always another there’s always a issue up beneath the surface. So I say all that to say is we live in a very privileged society. Extremely. Has always been privileged, but we live in a very privileged society, and it’s only getting more privileged because AI is gonna rock us off our feet.

James [00:48:17]:

Yeah. Right? It’s already everywhere we go.

Marla Albertie [00:48:19]:

It’s all it already is. So if you don’t catch up to this privilege and and become more and more self aware, you have to know that social media is not gonna run my life. You have to know that somebody else is not gonna run my life. You have to know that. Right? I could literally I was so addicted to social media, I could literally pick up my phone right now and start going on Facebook right now and start start. But, you know, what did I do before I got on the call? I cut my phone off. So it wouldn’t ring, so it won’t be. So it won’t because I don’t I don’t let the phone. I don’t let social media run me. Mhmm. Mhmm. Right? So but, again, that takes self awareness. I’m not saying I have it mastered by no means.

James [00:48:54]:

No. No one does, but there’s No one does.

Marla Albertie [00:48:56]:

But you gotta recognize

James [00:48:57]:

But I guess when it comes to the keep it moving, that’s progress towards growth. Keep it. What how

Marla Albertie [00:49:02]:

are you moving forward? The it? What boundaries are you putting on yourself? What boundaries are you putting on yourself?

James [00:49:11]:

So you’re just sick of someone on your deathbed saying if only a girl’s social media or

Marla Albertie [00:49:16]:

Yeah. No. They’re not gonna say that. Right? And and again, the social it’s a screen. Right? It’s a screen. You’re never gonna meet these people, but you’re allowing yourself to get bullied. You know, social media bullying is real. It’s real.

James [00:49:31]:

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Marla Albertie [00:49:32]:

You’re you’re allowing us to get bullied. All you have to do is and I’ve read it all the time. If you don’t like the comment, keep scrolling. Mhmm. A funny thing on, the the rapper Ice Tea. I saw it on Twitter. Apparently, his wife had had put on something or whatever. 50,000 people commented on something she had on. Well, she’s dressed that way. Who cares? Who cares? You know? And He said, you know what? You can you don’t have to comment. And in fact, you can just delete me. Why are you following me? And it’s so true. Why do we feel we need to comment? That add stress? Do you know that add stress to you when you sit there and comment? You’re mad on what other people are doing. And I was just I was just talking about this in another in another podcast. I said, We care about the wrong things. I don’t think a client who what? Right. Why does my care about that? Why do I care that another man wants to be married to another man? I don’t care. I do not care about that. At least but but that those small things

James [00:50:29]:

Mhmm.

Marla Albertie [00:50:29]:

This is that that a lot of that causes the burnout, causes the stress. Because then you go to work and you talk about it,

James [00:50:37]:

and and

Marla Albertie [00:50:38]:

then oh, you forget your job. Now your production fails because you’re worried about what happened on social media. You’re worried about, you know, You know, the world that

James [00:50:47]:

reminds me of when, Will Smith Slapped Chris

Marla Albertie [00:50:52]:

woo. Right?

James [00:50:53]:

And my my buddy’s like, oh my gosh. What do you think of that? And I’m like, what are you talking about? And he’s like, I don’t know what crazier. The fact that you don’t know what to think of it or the fact that you didn’t even know that that slap existed.

Marla Albertie [00:51:05]:

It even existed.

James [00:51:06]:

I didn’t. Like, I don’t pay attention to any of that. So I’m like, what happened? Yeah. You know, like, people still watch was it the Oscars? I don’t know what it was.

Marla Albertie [00:51:14]:

It was Oscars.

James [00:51:15]:

And I’m like, I didn’t even know that was still a thing. Yeah. I just don’t pay attention to that and have no I don’t wanna take time in my life.

Marla Albertie [00:51:24]:

Yeah. Yeah.

James [00:51:26]:

No. Who cares? Who cares?

Marla Albertie [00:51:28]:

That self awareness. That self awareness. And I and I’ll tell you a funny story, but I actually was watching it that night. And I was sitting in my bed watching the Oscars, and I literally thought it was a when I first saw it

James [00:51:37]:

Yeah. I

Marla Albertie [00:51:38]:

think everyone else thought I thought it was part of a script or something.

James [00:51:41]:

Staged. Yeah.

Marla Albertie [00:51:42]:

Didn’t think it was I I said, is this real? I said, this this

James [00:51:45]:

I’m like We gotta get boring people to know that the Oscars exist. Right. I don’t need some drama.

Marla Albertie [00:51:49]:

Right. I’m like, is this I’m like, did the officers do this so they can get ratings? I’m I’m I really was thinking like this wasn’t this was but it was real. Obviously, we found out it was real or whatever. So, you know, Will Smith lost deals for that. He lost movie deals. He lost all this stuff. And, of course, people commented on Facebook or whatever. You know, personally, I thought it was a little tasteless. You know, I thought it was tasteless. Why are we slapping people on on TV? You know, it’s ridiculous. At the same time, going back to what you said, it it I didn’t lose any sleep that night because Will Smith or Chris Rock aren’t paying any of my bills. Right.

James [00:52:23]:

The interesting thing is think of how many comments alone, the number of comments that were triggered by that event. Oh, yeah. You’re talking billions.

Marla Albertie [00:52:33]:

And and it’s brilliant. The Oscar’s on the map. So the Oscar’s that they’re they’re they’re they’re they’re they’re they’re they’re leveraging that. If what?

James [00:52:41]:

No such thing as bad publicity. Right?

Marla Albertie [00:52:43]:

But they’re leveraging that publicity. Why not? Matter of fact, the Oscars people are like, you know what? Go go to everybody’s Facebook and hit like. Hit like on the Facebook pages, but Oscar folks trust me. They used it. I mean, why not? I would’ve.

James [00:52:55]:

Yeah.

Marla Albertie [00:52:57]:

You know?

James [00:52:59]:

Not necessarily making the world a better place? Nope. No. That they’re making a buck. So whatever.

Marla Albertie [00:53:03]:

But they’re making a buck. So that’s what they would have done. Yeah. So So, I mean, so you can’t get mad at the Oscars, right, because that’s exactly what they did, but because people because guess because guess what society likes to do, especially Western culture, we thrive on the negatives.

James [00:53:15]:

Oh, yeah. We thrive on it. Mhmm.

Marla Albertie [00:53:17]:

We thrive on it. How long are we gonna talk about someone doing good? Made a day. How are we gonna talk about someone doing bad? Oh my god. For the next 20 years. Yeah.

James [00:53:28]:

It’s interesting. That reminds me of that, the Nike movie air Mhmm.

Marla Albertie [00:53:32]:

I haven’t seen that yet. I wanna see it.

James [00:53:34]:

Great movie. Great movie. There’s a speech that Matt Damon’s character has when Michael Jordan and his family are in the room. Uh-huh. It essentially says you’re gonna be great, but the society is gonna build you up better than you are Yep. Just so that they can tear you down.

Marla Albertie [00:53:49]:

Yep. Yep.

James [00:53:51]:

And it’s like And why did they get a lot of famous people? And that’s the story again and again and again.

Marla Albertie [00:53:58]:

Yeah. And it’s funny that’s crazy with that with that because what what happened? He was the greatest basketball player on a planet. Right? Oh, oh, but, oh, he had a gambling problem. He’s not great anymore. Oh, he divorced his wife, Juanita had he had to give her all this money.

James [00:54:12]:

He’s not

Marla Albertie [00:54:12]:

a different husband anymore. Oh, he’s married to his cute, little, young, white girl. Oh, we don’t like him anymore. But, again, people, and I say this a lot, do we not remember that public figures, superstars, celebrities, they’re human beings as well. Mhmm.

James [00:54:29]:

And what do we care? And and and and and they’re gonna go through

Marla Albertie [00:54:34]:

the same just because they’re just because they’re seen at a different level. But I never forget this this the the the smart the words of the smart little Wayne. Lew Wayne said, I am not a I he’s like, yeah, I’m a public figure, but I am not a role model. He said, so if you don’t want your kids listen to my music, then make sure they don’t listen to my music. So I’m not gonna stop being who I am. And I respected that he said that. I respected that he said that because this is it because when his music first came out parents were like, I can’t believe he’s saying all blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Well, what’s up to it? Why you who bought me?

James [00:55:09]:

I would challenge that and say if you are a public figure, you are a role model, whether you wanna be or not, someone’s looking up to you. I I because in order for you to have an audience where you’re famous, someone’s gonna admire you. So therefore, your role model. Good one or bad one.

Marla Albertie [00:55:23]:

You’re gonna a bad one. Yeah. And I and I agree with and I do agree with, but I agree with what he said at that This is when he first came out. Right? So he’s obviously morphed and developed and changed because he has his own grown children now. But I agree with that at that time because at that time, this was before CD this is this is the during the CD round when CD

James [00:55:40]:

Way back when? Okay.

Marla Albertie [00:55:41]:

Yeah. This is CDs. So this is before the iPod. Right? And and I agree at that time because who’s buying the CDs? Kids were old enough to go buy CDs, you know, who who the parents were buying it, but the parents were because they were the ones, you know, so I I agree with that time. But, also, I do agree with what you said about the the role model piece. So you’re right. Because when you become a public figure, That is something you take on whether it’s a celebrity or not. You take on the burden of being in the public eye. And people will forget, like, we just mentioned Michael Jordan, people will forget that you’re a human being, and they will tear you down, right, that they’ll tear you down. So you do have to remember that. At the same time, though, I do have to challenge the fact that humans us, we still gotta remember these people are human.

James [00:56:29]:

Mhmm. They’re a

Marla Albertie [00:56:30]:

public figure because they’re a public figure, but but I’m not gonna worship them. No. So I’m not gonna be surprised. Now, yes, was was it tasted that that Will Smith slapped him? Of course. That was tastefully. You shouldn’t slap anybody. Let alone on public on an international TV. Let alone on Oscars. You know? But but I’m not gonna put it past him because he’s human and he’s maybe has marital issues and a lot’s going on in his life. Right? Oh, you know, but I’m not gonna put past nothing nothing surprises me with people.

James [00:57:02]:

You know, it’s interesting. We were at, a major league baseball game, well, yesterday. And all these kids and adults, I guess, my son included. Mhmm. We’re excited to get a little baseball signed, Jersey signed, whatever. And me, I’m just like, this is just a dude that’s his job is to throw a ball or to catch a ball or to hit a ball. That’s his job. Right? Yeah. Same thing that twelve year olds are doing all day long here. And if he went away, there’s a line of thousands of people that would be more than willing to take his place for a quarter of the price.

Marla Albertie [00:57:37]:

Of course.

James [00:57:38]:

So I’m like, why are people so excited to get this guy’s signature? Yeah. I think Then it made me think as I’m just watching this, I’m wondering, what is the guy in the dugout that’s actually given the signatures? What is he thinking? Is he thinking like I just like to play the game of baseball? Or I’m happy I’m making a few $1,000,000 Mhmm. Or what is his perspective? Mhmm. It was just it’s a weird dynamic when I see stuff like that where people are putting other people on pedestals Yeah. For something that and it was interesting to me because we went we’re in Ohio, and we go to the Air Force Museum. Yeah. Where they have the SR 71 Blackbird. They got the stealth bomber. They have space shuttle things. Mhmm. I went to the moon, all this stuff that Mhmm. Crazy amounts of technology, engineering, math, science, all this stuff went into to make happen. Mhmm. My kid was bored to tears there. And I’m like, you wanna get your baseball signed by some clown that’s good at catching a ball. Yet you see something that went to the moon and you’re bored? Oh my god. What did I do as a parent?

Marla Albertie [00:58:50]:

Not fascinating, Tim. Let’s let’s let’s break that down just a little bit here. Just let know we have a lot of time. But it’s interesting you bought that up because you’re right. So, example, I’m a give a prime example of self. So this weekend, I’m going to, see Beyonce. This would be my third

James [00:59:04]:

time seeing

Marla Albertie [00:59:05]:

her in person. So I called myself. I’m in the Beehive. Her her fan base is the beehive. So I’m in the beehive. But I’m so I say I’m I’m a fan, I’ll be honest. I’m a fan of a lot of folks. But I don’t look at Beyonce as anything but a human being. She’s a she has a talent. She she knows how to monetize on her talent. She knows how to do what she does well. And I respect that in any human being, not just her, but you will not see me at the church in California, that’s that’s named Beyonce. I’m not gonna I’m not gonna build a church behind her. I’m not going I’m not going to, you know, pay 2 like, I saw last night. I promise you I saw last night and no no no shade, Heathrown, but I saw last night on Facebook. This one lady, she quit her job because she couldn’t get PTO. To go to the to the concert. So she quit her job. I’m not going to not take a coaching client because I, you know, because I’m gonna take be outside college. You know? I mean, you know, so so again, again, that me and my brain, there’s something else going on there. There’s something else going on because if you have if you’re putting that person that high on a pedal, so that I mean, because it get it don’t get me wrong. We are. I like somebody. I like tons of singers. Beyond is not the only one, I mean, I’m I’m fans of many singles. I’m fans of many restaurants, but nothing’s gonna be I’m not gonna nothing’s gonna be better than me, more or less, I love Marla first. I gotta look me first, and I’m not gonna put myself in jeopardy

James [01:00:31]:

of of of being a fan or or

Marla Albertie [01:00:31]:

a groupie just so I can be stomped on or or pushed in pushing a crowd

James [01:00:41]:

or whatever.

Marla Albertie [01:00:42]:

You know? So so, again, that stuff is exciting to people. Don’t get me wrong. I’m exact exactly. Here here here’s another prime example. I was at the I’m a season ticket holder for the Jaguars, Gojags, Okay. And and, we were at the practice the other day. Long line. Long line to get your buck your ball sign or whatever. Number 1, I nothing against that, but I wasn’t much standing that line as hot as poo poo out there. I don’t much standing that line. So but when I stand in line, if it was a little bit cooler, maybe If it was shorter, maybe, you know, I mean, wouldn’t mind having a a football sign by Trevor Lawrence. I wouldn’t mind having that. But, again, going back with me and said, I’m a I’m a weigh the costs Am I am I gonna be is it am I gonna be hot? Am I gonna pass out? Is it worth it? Can I get it signed one day? Can I get it can I go to a auction? Can I you know, I’m gonna weigh out the auction, the the opportunity cost here? You know? So, again, everyone has their thing. I get it. Everyone has their thing because it that’s what makes them feel united.

James [01:01:38]:

Right? They wanna belong to a group. You got it right there? They wanna belong to a group.

Marla Albertie [01:01:43]:

Yeah. It’s exactly everyone. And this and that is life. That is, like, all wanna be a part of the Beehive. We all wanna be a part of the the the the fan group that likes the baseball player. We all wanna be a part of the group that that loves the face that loves Trevor Lawrence. Like, I am in literally probably a 120 plus Facebook groups because I have that many likes Now am I in all of them? Am I active in all of them? No. But I’m I’m in them. Mhmm. Right. And I’m I’m in car groups. I’m in American Express groups. I’m in writing groups. I’m in blogging groups. I’m an entrepreneur. I’m in so because I had so many likes that we all gotta be a part of something. So I don’t think anything’s wrong with that. Actually, I help. I think that helps with our mental health. Actually, it it’s to Sure. Definitely. If you all wanna belong. Right?

James [01:02:28]:

Mhmm.

Marla Albertie [01:02:28]:

That helps But going to what you said about the about the, about your son being bored at the, at the Air Force Museum. Just listen to you. Say that. I got excited. I’m like, well, I would love to go see that.

James [01:02:41]:

Oh my gosh. It’s amazing. Oh, a

Marla Albertie [01:02:42]:

lot a lot of people don’t care about history. A lot I’m not talking about just your son, adults. Don’t care about history. You know, like, a lot of people ask me, like, what do you do every time you go cruises and you order Bahamas. Well, I get I get off the boat and sometimes I take a tour. I this time last last time I got off the ship, I they they built a new museum in in Nassau, Cabajampano, museum, which is the history of how they celebrated the Bahamians celebrate their freedom. That was interesting to me. So You know, sometimes I’m like, well, I won’t I won’t I won’t have to go and do anything. Okay. Well, that that’s you. You know? Mhmm. So everyone has to find their neck and their neck and what they want. And Like I said, I would go. I I think I would love the history of the Air Force stuff. You know? But your twelve year old, yeah, he’s gonna be bored because that’s just not the interest of his. Right? And so you gotta yeah.

James [01:03:31]:

I think he, I don’t think he’s away. Like, World War 1, World War 2 doesn’t even know they existed. Yeah.

Marla Albertie [01:03:36]:

He doesn’t what is that?

James [01:03:38]:

Whirlwall. Berlin Wall. Who?

Marla Albertie [01:03:41]:

What what is Berlin? Yeah.

James [01:03:42]:

Like, he has

Marla Albertie [01:03:43]:

no He has he has no clue. No. He he’s into a paper tell you pictures

James [01:03:49]:

The top pictures in MLB. And I try to tell him, I’m like, buddy, that’s information that is important to you and your group this year, maybe in the next 5 years. Yeah. Yeah. But in 6, 10 years. That’s gonna be old news. Mhmm. Where the stuff at this museum is important because it’s relevant because you can see chronologically what has happened with our society.

Marla Albertie [01:04:13]:

Right. Exactly.

James [01:04:14]:

I mean, there’s the flight. Plains cool, but why did they build that jet? Right. Why is the one doing the moon a big deal? Why was it a big deal to build a big spy plane? Mhmm. Why was it a big deal to buy build these fighter planes for World War 2? Right. Like, the technology, the engineering, that’s impressive. That’s cool, but why? Right. Where the baseball thing, they’re just playing a game. Yes. For fun. It’s entertainment.

Marla Albertie [01:04:35]:

Yeah. And and and it’s and and and it’s interesting on that too as I’ll challenge you on that one too, James, is these kids, again, kind of going back to coaching, We gotta coach them where they’re at.

James [01:04:46]:

Fair. Totally fair.

Marla Albertie [01:04:48]:

We gotta coach them where they’re at.

James [01:04:49]:

And so I would I would I

Marla Albertie [01:04:49]:

would challenge your son And and and, yeah, you think it’s just a game, but he thinks it’s the the best thing since she’s cake pie. Right? So I would challenge him on it and and say, you know what? Is the history of baseball? Because baseball has a history.

James [01:05:05]:

Mhmm.

Marla Albertie [01:05:05]:

What is the history of baseball?

James [01:05:07]:

Well,

Marla Albertie [01:05:07]:

what is the timeline the same time like you saw? What is what is the timeline behind baseball? What what are we learning? Who are the major players? Has he has he watched, some of the baseball players from the past? What have they done? Who was Lou Gehrig? Why do we have a disease named after him? Mhmm. You know, so what, you know, how would challenge him to do the research and do the history on the things that he likes? And and dig deep, not just the superstars right now that he can get an autograph from. What about the baseball players of the 1800?

James [01:05:36]:

What about us? To be fair, he has dug into because I told him Good. Good. You gotta look. I told him I remember telling him to look at the history of the baseball glove, the mitt.

Marla Albertie [01:05:44]:

Yeah.

James [01:05:45]:

Because I’m like, what you got right now pretty good to catch, but look at one from the early 1900. Mhmm. And tell me if you could catch the ball just as easily then as you could know. Yeah. Because when you’re looking at statistics Yeah. Today versus 50 years ago Yeah. Is it apples to apples? No. Yeah. Yeah.

Marla Albertie [01:06:02]:

So So

James [01:06:03]:

hang ons back then. Look at the average size of a baseball player then versus average size. Now is it apples to apples?

Marla Albertie [01:06:08]:

Mhmm. Yeah. And I always tell and that’s what I tell I tell my son all the time when he was coming with new ideas of what he wants to do. Did you research it? It’s first thing I’d say, did you research? Look it up. What’s the history? What’s the past of it? What what’s going on with it? I must have you to be a research genius behind it and know everything. But, you know, but the do a little bit more digging to find out if it’s really what you’re doing. Mhmm. And and and what’s and what’s the what’s the why behind it? What’s the why? You you just never know. I mean, whatever that that passion is, I believe that passion stays in you. It just it just morph in different ways as you get older in life. And, again, what you put in front of your eyes and what you put in front of your ears is is gonna matter. It’s gonna change that philosophy. So so, yeah, so that’s what I would challenge for him to continue to do. It’s continue to look at those histories. And, you know, maybe he’ll maybe he’ll be a baseball historian. Just people who get paid

James [01:06:58]:

on that. He’s helping him and baseball player, but we’ll Okay.

Marla Albertie [01:07:02]:

Maybe it’d be a baseball. Maybe. Who knows? I mean

James [01:07:04]:

We’ll see. Who knows?

Marla Albertie [01:07:05]:

Those sports aren’t going anywhere.

James [01:07:06]:

Who knows? He’s a young kid, so a lot can change between now. A lot will change. Well, Marla, we gotta wrap it up here. I appreciate you calling the show. Tell me, how can people find you?

Marla Albertie [01:07:17]:

Oh, thank you so much. So my website is www truth speaks coaching.com. Again, the business is truth speaks group, but it’s truth speaks coaching.com. I have books on Amazon, Like, again, my book is the, 1, the ultimate, brag book, 100 questions about how awesome you are, then I have 52 career tips, action steps to move you forward. My name is Marla J Albertie. If you Google that, in or put that in the search bar and Amazon, both of my books will come up. My nonprofit, IO for teams, I, the letter I, the letter o, f o r t e n s dot org is the study of where place behavior. So we’re just teaching teenagers how to behave in the workplace and how to have life skills Nice. Or how to move forward in life. So please, yeah, the the the the vaxx, those are my sites. Very cool. My name’s on Marla J. Albertie is on LinkedIn. Instagram is t speaks group on, in Instagram. T speaks group on Instagram.

James [01:08:16]:

T speaks group. Okay. Got it? Super cool. Yes. This has been authentic business adventures, the business program that brings you the struggle stories, and trying to successes of business owners across the land. You’re locally underwritten by the Bank of Sun Prairie. If you’re listening to this on the web, you could do just a huge favor, give it the big old thumbs up, switch scribe and, of course, comment below and let Marlon know what’s going on with your workplace Yeah. Your mindset, all that jazz Yes. As well. Let me know. Please. Sharing it with your entrepreneurial friends. My name is James Kademan, and authentic business debentures. He’s brought to you by Callzine Call. Offering call answering and receptionist services for service businesses across the country on the web at calls on call.com, as well as bold business book, a book of the entrepreneur, and all of us available wherever fine books are sold. We’d like to thank you for your wonderful listeners as well as our guests, Marla Albertie, the founder of Truth Speaks Group. Good mileage. You can tell us at website one more time.

Marla Albertie [01:09:13]:

Www.truthspeakscoaching.com.

James [01:09:17]:

Awesome. Past episodes can be found morning, union 9th podcast link funded drawincustomerscom com. Thank you for listening. We’ll see you next week. Once you stay awesome, And if you do nothing else, enjoy your business.

Marla Albertie [01:09:29]:

Yes. Bye everyone.